Two years ago, I started thinking antiperspirants were killing me (among many, many other products) and henceforth embarked on a quest to find a more natural alternative. Although it hasn’t necessarily been proven to cause cancer or Alzheimer’s, and I’m not entirely sure that it was, in fact, killing me, I still thought it would be better to remain on the safe side and avoid aluminum and other unpleasant-looking ingredients in my new deodorants.
You see, when I made this decision, I didn’t realize precisely how long it would take to do this. When it came to finding natural versions of shampoos, conditioners, toothpastes, and lotions, I had few issues. However, natural deodorants are just… Ineffective. They really suck! I first bought the Jason Pure Natural Deodorant stick and went home, eager to start my new aluminum-free life, only to find that I smelled like something akin to an onion within mere minutes following application. Mortified at my own stink, I consulted the web to figure out what in the world was wrong with me, or natural deodorant. Most of the websites assured me that it would take a while for my body to “detox” from all the bad antiperspirants I had used before. It’s just a matter of patience!
So I thought. Days passed and I continued to reek of dirty wet rag. I assume this was a fairly lonely period of my life because I’m certain no other human being could tolerate my pungence. Plus, I was running to the bathroom several times a day to wash my armpits and reapply, which means I spent a considerable amount of time at home. I slowly realized there was no hope for Jason and went off to buy other deodorants. These included the brands NatureLove (still garbage if you want to go natural because it has propylene glycol,) Crystal Essence, and Tisserand.
I still stunk. The worst part was that aluminum-free deodorants aren’t even cheap! I lost hope and concluded that I would have to accept the fact that I was going to die at the hands of antiperspirants. I resumed using my old stuff for another year or two, with occasional applications of my natural deodorants when I forgot they suck. I didn’t die, mind you, but it does usually take a good while until American consumerism kills you.
I remembered my noble cause after a while and went to my local Marshall’s, where I knew I could find an wide array of alternative deodorants. Behold! The only effective natural deodorant brand I have ever used:
Let me introduce you to Schmidt’s. Before you get all excited, I’m going to be honest. The only reason I like this brand is because it sucks less bad than all the rest. It makes me smell normal and nice about 80% of the time. I’m pretty sure no natural deodorant will ever be as good as the “real deal.” Anyway, what’s awesome about these is that they’re vegan and cruelty-free, and free of aluminum, parabens, propylene glycol, and phthalates. Basically, I don’t think they will kill me. Maybe that will change someday but for now, I am content. There are two forms of this deodorant: the tub version (on the right) and the stick version (on the left). Originally there were only the tubs, with a funny little spatula for application. You have to warm both of these guys up before they can actually spread out.
Once you get past the weirdness of vigorously rubbing your armpits on the daily, it starts to feel kind of normal. I actually prefer the tub version because I can just breathe on the bit of deodorant I scoop out and it’s good to go. The stick tends to stay stiffer and I think it’s not as effective. By the way, if you’re looking to smell “powder fresh” like your Dove deodorant, no natural deodorant will work for you. All of them smell like herbal medicines, including my beloved Schmidt’s.
As for the “detox” thing, I’m still not sure if it’s true. After about a month of using Schmidt’s, I noticed that I sweat a lot less. I used to be a really heavy armpit sweater, so this is a welcome change. What’s even weirder is that the deodorants that didn’t work at all before now can fight off stink for much longer than they could before. They still don’t compare to Schmidt’s though.
So there! I’ve heard of other natural deodorants that work, but they’re not readily available where I live and I think ordering some online is the height of health-conscious paranoia. I’m not mentally prepared to stoop to that level yet. These deodorants costed me something around $4-5 at Marshall’s, but they can get kind of pricey depending on where you look. I hope you all find decent solutions to your underarm odors!
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu😁